HEADCANON MEME V 2.0

[gundamkind]

Since we've gotten a bunnch of new people it might be more prudent to make a new post and move everything on over here.

So welcome to Zombiestuck and Deadbones. Here's your place to dump all your headcanon!

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[gundamkind]

And a placeholder.

[gundamkind]

DIRK & SCHOOL.
Dirk did actually attend a public school up until the sixth grade. His grades were constantly poor, due to the fact that the work simply didn't interest him and he would just literally space out for the entirety of the day, leading his teachers to believe that there must be something off with him. They also thought his brother must be doing his homework for him, given the fact that the answers were above and beyond what a kid his age should know. Which. Bro probably thoroughly debunked. Teachers were also concerned about his anti-social behaviour, he ended up going through most of his time there without making any friends. Any friends he did make seemed to stay just long enough to try to find something to get his goat and turned on him quick enough when it suited him.

It hurt him more than he let on and he spend a lot of his childhood with Lil Cal as his only friend and confidant. Most of his conversations were probably overheard by Bro.

He once went to the science fair with a fully functioning robot which terrorized everyone else as revenge.

Eventually he was expelled in the sixth grade after hacking into the school and preforming a hostile takeover of all of the equipment and computer mainframe. To this day no one is entirely sure how he managed it and he's lucky he didn't end up in a juvenile detention center for trying it.

The following years have been spent doing independent learning.

DIRK & CAL.

Cal was his best friend growing up. Probably only friend before he met everyone else / Dave learned how to talk. He takes that puppet damn near everywhere with him and takes astoundingly good care of him.

DIRK & FAMILY
Bro and Dave are pretty much the few people he talks to in person - largely by choice, but also because he's just a little weird and can be kind of offputting with the way he speaks and general air about him. So, because of this, they're pretty damn important to him even if irony and that air of coolness keeps any of them from showing it.

Bro is essentially Dirk's big brother / dad figure and the person he trusts the most. While he's more of a father than he ever had, the fact that he still remembers bits and pieces of their situation before keeps him from thinking of Bro as father. He's just way better than one could ever be. When he was smaller he probably went to him for his own brand of comfort - just like, sitting outside his door if he got scared at night or sleeping next to the futon, getting comfort from a distance because he wasn't sure if he was wanted or not. I imagine when he first started to deal with the whole sexuality thing there was an extremely casual coming out done in the fashion of just yelling it from his room. They're terrifyingly alike.

Dave's also his bro. He's pretty fucking protective of his little bro, even if he probably shows it in the way of shoving him around and beating him up. He knows Dave has it rough and tries to toughen him up the only way he knows how, other than trying to find out who is harassing him so he can make their online lives a living fucking hell.

AR, Squarewave and Sawtooth are also his family and he insists they be referred to as such.

DIRK & FRIENDS.

Jake is his best friend / huge honking crush. Jake is pretty much his polar opposite in every way, shape and form - where he's cynical and sarcastic, Jake is boundlessly optimistic and enthusiastic. If we're going to be on the level here, nothing scares him more than the idea of rejection. Which is why he's put it off so long and has such a convoluted plan of action, which would be abandoned the moment someone else finally came forward and said something.

Other than Jake, Roxy is pretty much his best friend ever. There's still a little awkward because he can't reciprocate her feelings, but he's got the maddest platonic love for her. He'll always be there for her and tries to make her see that. Along with that, he also nags her a little about her drinking and is there to talk her down from any depression spirals.

Jane is his other best friend. He sort of sees her as someone to protect, given her rather sheltered upbringing in comparison to say - his or Jake's. She appreciates his humor and tries to understand it when he explains things unlike the others. And he appreciates her for it! He sends her shitty books he made "improvements" on.

Jade he knows the best out of all of the beta kids. Mostly because he knows Jake best. He sent her a robot pony and teaches her how about robots. There was an illfated crush on her side which he either remained oblivious to or tried to gently let her down.

John and Rose he knows mostly through Dave and by virtue of their siblings complaining about them.

DIRK & FIGHTING.

Shit be scary. He's pretty lethal.

DIRK & SPACING OUT.

It's a thing he does if he's thinking too hard about something. He's constantly multitasking and the minute his concentration breaks and he's focusing on the minor details of something he's gone. He's pretty much always done it and it's something that tends to happen at random if he's got a problem on his mind. He probably should definitely not drive because of it.

ADDTIONAL HEADCANON.

The first time Dirk broke a bone it was because he wasn't paying attention and tripped the fuck down the stairs. He wasn't very old. It broke really badly and while he probably cried, it wasn't like hysterical or anything, and there was a lot of yelling for Bro to get his ass down there.

Child services has probably been to the Strider household a few times. When he was younger he used to have nightmares about the family being broken up.

He remembers more about the time before Bro was their dad than he lets on. He has some abandonment issues and self-worth issues that are buried so deep it would take an excavation team to get them out.

HE DOES NOT SLEEP. This is actually kind of a lie. Sometimes those spacing out episodes are him passing the fuck out because he just doesn't do it willingly.

While he loves Rainbow Dash and a few other characters totally unironically, he's definitely aware that this is a cartoon for little girls and maintains that he watches it for "ironic education" purposes. He takes down notes for some secret project he won't let anyone in on, but from what people can gather it's a reworking of the series to include deep socio-political issues and a lot of violence.